Jeder sieht, was du scheinst. Nur wenige fühlen, wie du wirklich bist.
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How can somebody be so forgetful?!?

About one year ago I was confering sth. to my friend and the last weeks when I was talking with her on the telephone I ALWAYS tried to remind her of that. That it would be nice if I could it have back. And only about two days ago I was reminding her of that again.
And what happened today!?! She has forgotten it!!!! I'm sure she has lost it and only hopes that I don't remember that. Haha! Forget it. I will never forget it. I don't hate her because of that even if she lost that she could buy me a new one. But please tell me the truth!!!!
Do you think I'm so stupid?!?! I don't like it when I'm confering sth. to someone and don't get it back for a long long time.
The next time I will try to get on her nerves with that. I'm sorry that I vent my wrath on this blog here. But it make me feel a bit better.
12.9.04 19:37

Lil' problems with teachers + Happy End

Silly school. Stupid presentations. I rather prefer a bad mark than standing in front of my class and talking about sth.
WHY DO TEACHERS ATTACH IMPORTANCE OF THAT?!?!? Daffy teachers and school.
I'm feeling really bad now because of this. And why do I have problems with THAT?!? Others have fun to do this (I still can't believe that). I'm afraid if I start spluttering because being nervous but I'm spluttering a bit when I talk with friends, too. I don't know why.

And sth. happened again. A new teacher. He saw my friend besides me. Recognises her: "Oh, I know you! You are in this acting group!"

Me. Thinking: And you don't recognise me. But I'm very good in hiding my thoughts. I'm always smiling at my friend and saying sth. like: Wow, he knows you! But not because I'm lying! I'm NOT begrudging this to her! I'm sharing her happiness! Really!

On the one hand I'm often a bit hurt because till now NO teacher ever said sth. like this to me -> "You are in the acting group, aren't you?" Okay. I only had a little role last year but it was also an eye- catching role. The only animal. lol.
Or they didn't make me out because I wore a painted beard at the beginning? Hm. But my friend also.

But on the other hand I don't give a damn about it. I know that I'm a bit shy and I know that nobody ever reckons that I ever want to be in an acting group or having so much fun now! Really. Not even my mother reckoned that. But I'm a little bit proud (Sorry! No, I don't want to be big-headed and I'm not!) because I wasn't afraid (I was only a little bit nervous but that's normal, isn't it?) to act in front of about 100 people. But I know that I wasn't the best last year. But I had so much fun!! And this is the most important.
But this year I want to try to play a bigger role and I DON'T want to play a guy again. And this year I know how all will proceed approximately and I want to try not to be that nervous like at the beginning last year but this was really new for me, I was never doing sth. like that before.

This year I will do my best!

[EDIT (29.06.2005): This year I really got the main role. But I'm sure not because I'm that good at acting. I'm sure I got the role because I was the person (an acting-buddy and later the teacher told so) who fit best for the role because of the character.
And nearly every teacher I had this year knew that I was in this group. YES!
My classteacher and some of my friends told me after the acting performance that they didn't expect something like that from me.
Wow! But I'm still not fully content with me.]
16.9.04 18:25

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